You avoid unhealthy looking peoples in the mall for fear that they'll drop near you and you'll have to do CPR on your day off.

You've had a patient with a nose ring, a brow ring and twelve earrings say, "I'm afraid of shots."

You've ever bet on someone's blood alcohol level.

You believe every waiting room should have a Valium salt lick.

You have your weekends off planned a year in advance.

You have ever had a patient control his seizures when offered food.

You know it's a full moon without having to look at the sky.